Readers Beware,

Here's something I wrote a while back:

Growing up, I remember my Dad
Sitting at the kitchen table,
Gazing out the window to the farms.
A hand-rolled Pall Mall burning in his hand,
keeping his fingers darkly tanned.

What was he thinking?
What were his dreams?

I'll probably never know.

Reading other blogs...

I find that when I try to browse and read other non-celebrity blogs, I become quickly discouraged. Foul language seems to prevail and I even saw one with a nude picture posted. I'm not too much of a stickler about profanity and it does seem to be everywhere. But sentences are just hard to read when profanity is in every sentence.

It's Friday again, but I don't seem to excited about it this time around. I should start getting the second bedroom ready for the baby. And Sunday will be lonnnnnnnnnggggg. I don't know, I probably should evaluate how I spend my time.

Names....

What is it that we have the need for titles and names and such? Sure, in a basic sense, we need names so that we're all not walking down the street yelling, "You....no, not you the person next to you. No, on your other side!"

Amy and I have been talking about baby names. If it's a boy, we've agreed on Andrew Thomas. If it's a girl, then probably Aubrey. It's been fun thinking of names, but not always easy. For example, I like the name Barbara. For short, you can call her Babs. I also had an aunt who passed away a year ago with that name. Amy immediately assumed I was thinking of Barbara Bush (our current President's mother-outside of normally voting Republican, I don't know how she came up with that). In comic books, it was the alter ego of Batgirl, Barbara Gordon. I thought Amy might like the name, you know, she like Barbara Streisand and all. But Amy couldn't get Barbara Bush out of her mind. So our child won't be named Barbara.

People like to name their children after themselves or a close family member. To carry on the legacy I suppose. My dad's middle name was Thomas. My middle name is Thomas. And or first son's middle name will be Thomas.

What made me start thinking about this, is a name for this blog. It was just titled "Journal". Boring. So I stole a line from a Stephen King book. Doesn't everyone have to have a cool name? whether it is for your child, your pet or your journal. Don't you think?

No title here.....

I came home to an empty house after work today. Amy must have to work late today. Home just isn't the same without her, that's for sure. So between that and the cold and drab weather today, I'm feeling a bit lonely right now.

I probably should get busy and look to see what new jobs were in the Boise newspaper over the weekend. Amy still hasn't got over the Head Start job - I'm sure she wishes I would have just taken it. But it wasn't right, I'm sure of that.

The weekend flew by. We rented a couple of movies, Shall We Dance with Richard Gere and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow with Jude Law and Gweneth Paltraw. They were both pretty good. I especially liked Shall We Dance because Jennifer Lopez wasn't in it as much as a expected. I'm not impressed with her acting.

Lots of church activities this weekend: helped clean the church with the Elders, went to the temple and we also had Ward Conference.

I find myself wanting a new computer. I've been looking at the Apples. They just look and feel new and practical. I can't see myself going to Best Buy or some warehouse store like that and buying a computer.

I've also been listening to some 80s music that I remember listening to in high school. I have listened to some of these songs in over 10 years. It's been nostalgic.

Sittin' out and enjoying the weather. 

Back when things were green..... 

Second Guessing......

Last night was tough as I found myself second guessing the decisions of the past few weeks. Was it right to turn down the Head Start job? Will anyone else in Idaho pay me as much as they offered? Do we want to move back to Idaho? Should we sell the Meridian house or move into it? All these questions are making me forget the fact that Amy and I are going to be first-time parents in less than 8 weeks! That's not the mindset I want to have going into this.

Amy and I have accomplished some goals this past year. Amy's good job has allowed us to pay off our existing credit card debt. And I think Amy will be a good taskmaster in keeping us out of that hole that saddens and causes stress in so many families.

Valentine's Day.....

Just when I thought at least one holiday wasn't in honor of a dead person..

There are varying opinions as to the origin of Valentine's Day. Some experts state that it originated from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14, 269 A.D.
(Sorry, I meant to give credit where I took this from- but now I forgot.)

Heroes (3rd try).....

I'm not sure why I even bothered to post last night. I'm just trying to get into the habit of doing this and constantly write.

Back to the heroes subject:

I was thinking What makes someone a hero? and split heroes into two categories: those who do a one-time heroic deed and those who consistantly do good things over a period of time. The one-time deed (OTD) heroes are those who are in the right place at the right time and have the right skills/abilities to meet the need and also steps forward. Say a doctor who is on plane while a fellow passenger has a heart attack and comes forward to help.

The other group are those who over a (long?) period of time consistantly do good (CDG). This could be a parent or teacher who devotes themselves to improving childrens' lives. I would propose that the CDG folks usually get less attention than the OTD folks while contributing more to society as a whole.

Heroes (continued)....

It's late in the day again. Where does all the time go?

Heroes......

I was just thinking about heroes and why we have them or why we have the need to look up to someone as an example. I'm not sure I know. Below I've posted a couple of pictures from our house that show heroes. After I posted them, I was thinking I could have also posted a picture of Jesus as well.

Do we put our talents to the best use? It's easy to say that if I won the lottery, I would do things to make the lives of the ones we love better or to make the world a better place. Why do I have to win the lottery before I do these philanthropic things? If we have a hard time giving to a charity or to the church now, what makes us think the giving will be any easier if we're talking a bigger dollar amount. Although I may never know for sure, I think it may be even harder.

It's getting late, and my brain is tired. but I'll try writing more on this tomorrow.

The other picture... 

Two pictures that hang in our house - why is it that we like heros? 

9 1/2 Weeks

Although Amy's due date is April 12, which is exactly 9 weeks from today, I'm predecting our little one will join us in 9 1/2 weeks. Just a little late and just to drive Amy a little crazy.

How will our lives change, I'm not sure. I know our lives will revolve around the little one, but I'm not even sure I know what that means.

After turning down the Boise job (which we saw was being advertised again- so they have to start from scratch), it appears we're going to stay in Minnesota a bit longer. Still not sure if we made the right choice- but it sure seemed the logical choice to make. We have a pretty good standard of living going on right now. Why would we change that? To be closer to family? We can still be close to them. It'll require more effort and isn't as convenient, but in the long run I know it was the right choice.

Now to sell that Boise house.

Weekend disappointment...

All this talk about loving Fridays....the worst thing is wasting a weekend accomplishing nothing. We managed to waste the meat of the day cleaning house and made it to the zoo at 330pm, just in time to catch the 400pm closing of the zoo.

Oh well, maybe next time.

I don't know why Amy is sometimes frustrated with me? She's had a long day, tired (not to mention pregnant) and here I am poking a camera with a bright flash in her face!
 

I don't know why Amy is sometimes frustrated with me? She's had a long day, tired (not to mention pregnant) and here I am poking a camera with a bright flash in her face!
 

I don't know why Amy is sometimes frustrated with me? She's had a long day, tired (not to mention pregnant) and here I am poking a camera with a bright flash in her face! 

Technology and Organization.........

I'm starting to feel like my parents when I compare myself to the kids graduating from college today. I don't own a PDA, or an iPod or a computer that burns CDs. I don't even know how to download music from the internet - legally or illegally!

We do own a digital camera, however. After taking pictures for over a year and recklessly tranferring them to our computer without any kind of filing system - we have a mess. So it's nearly midnight and I'm starting now.

But first, an article I saw in today's paper on 9 ways we waster our lives:

9. Procastination - putting off till later what we should do now.
8. Acting in haste - acting without full information or full attention.
7. Start-n-Stop Approach - start many projects, finish few.
6. Distrations - what was that, I was watching the tv.
5. Multitasking - putting on make-up, while driving
4. Preoccupation - our mind is somewhere else.
3. Lack of committment - attitude dictates performance
2. Ignorance or bad information - begin with the right knowledge
and
1. Obsessed with minutes rather than accomplishments - always in a rush because there is too much to do.

Not a bad list. Should I go bug Amy? I'm sure she's sleeping...

Friday Afternoons....

I think I wrote about this last Friday, but it'sworth saying again:

Friday afternoon are the best!

The whole work week is winding down, the whole weekend to look forward too. It just doesn't get any better. It's been unusally warm the past couple of days and going to continue through the weekend. I think Amy and I are going to go to the MN Zoo tomorrow. Walk around in the spring temperatures, look at the animals, have an early dinner and maybe see the new film at the IMAX. I think its a James Cameron sea exploration movie. IMAX is pretty expensive, but also pretty cool. We went and saw Polar Express there in December. Maybe I'll post some pictures.

Work is going good, I'm left to my myself, which, for the most part, is the way I prefer it.

Here's my sweetie! On the boat with Amy's family last summer.

Stand by me........

I started the movie Stand By Me last night and finished it this evening while Amy was working. It's a rated R movie, which Amy does a good job of avoiding. I enjoyed the movie; it reminded me of some of the insecurities I felt as a young teenager. You want to fit in, but you don't know what that means. You're still trying to figure out who you are and the type of person you want to be. You don't want to be different, you want to be accepted, want everyone to like everything about you.

Wil Wheaton and River Phoenix both star in the movie. Wil, in his book Just a Geek, talks about how he didn't want to act, he walnted to play and be with kids his age , rather than work along side a bunch of adults. I imagine he made pretty good money as a child actor, but it eventually didn't matter as he ended up leaving Hollywood and moved to Kansas to work as a computer geek. Now as a 30 year old, Wheaton is trying to get back into movies and television.

I'm not sure what the moral of the story is. Maybe it is Make sure the grass is really greener on the other side before you jump the fence.

This is our current home. This picture is from last winter, but it looks the same this year. Rent the two bedrooms on the main floor and another couple rents the 1 bedroom on the second floor. 

I said no....

Well tonight I gave my final answer on the job offer in Boise. Amy and said no. I don't know if I could have done it by myself. This is the first time I have turned down a job that was offered to me. The price I was asking was close to what they offered. But I was already offering to work for less than I was comfortable with, so I didn't budge. And they didn't budge. And so it didn't happen.

Amy says she alright with the decision, but I worry about her and want her to be happy. I want her to have everything she wants and needs and can imagine. She doesn't ask for it, but I want to give it to her.

So the next steps for Amy and I (besides having the baby and spending all our time looking at it) are to sell the Boise house and maybe look for something here. The Boise house is this big deal that we own and are responsible for - but have no idea how to manage. We're not in the landlord business. We don't want to be landlords. We want our own house that is in a fun neighborhood that we can call our own. Thats all.

A Burning Bosom.......

Amy and I talked a lot tonight about whether to accept the Boise job offer. It just hasn't felt right to me. I remember when I received the job offer that brought us out to Minneapolis - the excitement I felt, the knowing it was the right thing to do. I just haven't felt that. We pondered the offer, did a family budget, made ourselves aware of the financial impact of taking the job. I know it isn't the right thing to do at this time. But at times, I catch myself second guessing.

I also thought some today about negotiating. Wouldn't it be nice to have an agent who would do the tough negotiating for us? Someone that would ask the tough, direct questions that we are afraid the other party would find offensive?

But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given you from me. THE DOCTRINE AND COVENANTS, SECTION 9, VERSES 8-9.